Pokey Minch




EarthBound (1994)

Console of origin

Super Nintendo Entertainment System





Pokey Minch, also known as Porky Minch (ポーキー・ミンチPōkī Minchi), is a character in EarthBound and Mother 3, but also appears non-canonically in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. A portly and obnoxious next-door neighbor, he is Ness's neighbour in the suburbs of Onett and the older brother of Picky Minch. Pokey's family seems to hold a grudge against Ness's, because his father, Aloysius Minch, allegedly loaned a few hundred thousand dollars to Ness's father (though Aloysius admits it could have been a lot less), and was never repaid. Although he and his father found work in Fourside as consultants for the city's mayor, the Minches continued to feud with Ness's family.

Pokey's battle music in EarthBound is known as "Cease to Exist" in Japan and "Pokey Means Business" elsewhere. His themes in Mother 3 are "Master Porky's Theme" and "Absolutely Safe Capsule", and are played during the initial confrontations with him and following his retreat into the Absolutely Safe Capsule, respectively.


In EarthBoundEdit

At the beginning of EarthBound, Pokey lives with his parents, Aloysius and Lardna, and his younger brother Picky in the house next door to Ness's. He likes to play practical jokes, and Shigesato Itoi has stated that he does not have any friends and therefore likely played only with Ness most of the time. When a Meteorite lands north of their houses in Onett, Pokey and his younger brother Picky sneak out of their house to investigate.

When Picky turns up missing, Pokey turns to Ness, pleading him to help him find his younger brother, clearly because he is too cowardly to go alone. After sweet-talking Ness's mother and convincing Ness to help him, they head off to look for Picky. At the meteorite landing site, Ness, Pokey, and Picky meet Buzz Buzz, an alien from 10 years in the future. Pokey learns of the impending destruction of the universe at the hands of Giygas, but convinces himself that he is not one of the heroes that the alien speaks of. Suddenly, they are confronted by one of Giygas's cohorts, Starman Junior. Pokey cowers in fear while Ness and Picky assist Buzz Buzz in defeating the alien. After Ness escorts Pokey and Picky safely home, Pokey isn't seen again for some time.

Pokey first resurfaces as a high priest of the Happy Happyist cult, led by Carpainter. Pokey kidnaps Paula with the intention of performing a human sacrifice. After he confronts Ness, he orders two of the cult's followers and a Spiteful Crow to attack Ness. After the cult is disbanded, he and his father end up working as business consultants for Fourside's mayor Geldegarde Monotoli. He uses the money to live a luxurious life, but he eventually steals Monotoli's helicopter after Monotoli is confronted by Ness. That helicopter is shown to have crashed in the Deep Darkness, and Pokey is again not seen again for a long period of time. The only info on his activities come from eyewitness NPCs in various locations. Nevertheless, Pokey still causes trouble for Ness behind the scenes: it is revealed that Pokey stole the first Phase Distorter in order to escape to The Cave of the Past, and has apparently strengthened Giygas's power.

Pokey finally reappears at the right hand of Giygas within the Cave of the Past, pale and discolored from side-effects of time traveling, in an organic spider-like mech. At this point, Pokey reveals to Ness that it was Giygas that had been leading him all along. He expresses to Ness his new belief that Giygas should destroy the universe, and attacks Ness and his friends (in their robotic forms) alongside Giygas. Once Giygas is destroyed, Pokey uses time travel to escape into another era, but not before taunting Ness one last time. His last message comes through Picky in a suspicious hate letter that says, "Come and get me, loser! Spankety spankety spankety!"

In Mother 3Edit

Throughout most of Mother 3, Pokey's presence is never explicitly mentioned, though it is implied. Also, in the fan translation, he switches over to his Japanese name, "Porky", to better fit in with the pig theme of his affiliations. As early as Chapter 4, there are references to "King P", such as a mention in the DCMC song title. Throughout the game, there are also references to "Pork" in different scenarios, such as "Pork Troopers" or "Bag of Pork Chips". In the Thunder Tower in Chapter 5, Porky's playroom is visited, with numerous references to EarthBound in it, though it is merely talked about as "the King's playroom". There is also a sold out sign in the Chimera Laboratory for a creature called PORKY 08. Finally, at the end of Chapter 7, it is clearly stated that the King is indeed Porky, and Lucas and his friends are brought to his city of New Pork City. Here, Porky's presence is emphasized, with many statues and dolls of him appearing, as well as a theater that shows pictures from EarthBound.

The aforementioned playroom and Leder's speech, as well as the appearance of the Porky idols, imply that Porky is somehow still a child in the time. Throughout the Empire Porky Building, Porky taunts Lucas and co. through his intercom. When the top of the tower is finally reached, Porky himself appears, looking only slightly older than his EarthBound self. He then asks the player if they want to befriend him, but once they answer, he explodes, revealing himself to only be a robot version of Porky. Several other Mecha-Porkies join, battling Lucas all at once. When this is over, the actual Porky arrives in his spider mech. However, his appearance has changed significantly; he is extremely old and frail, coughing in nearly every sentence because of his misuse of time travel. He explains how his servant is about to pull the final needle, and that there is nothing Lucas & co. can do about it. After that, he leaves in a shortcut to the location.

Porky soon confronts them in a large spider mecha near the final battle location. Throughout the battle, he reveals that he has learned PSI, being able to perform inexplicable attacks much like Giygas could. During the battle, he explains that due to time travel, he has become immortal, as well as unkillable, stressing that when the Dark Dragon is awakened, only he and the Dragon will be the only ones left so that everyone who does not like him will be gone, and that he is prepared for such a fate. When he sees he is to be defeated, he calls upon the Absolutely Safe Capsule and climbs inside. It seals Porky inside, and being true to its name, it protects Porky from all harm. However, Porky finds that he cannot harm the heroes, either. When the battle ends, Dr. Andonuts reveals that he built the Absolutely Safe Capsule with the specifications that once someone is inside, the machine cannot be opened by anyone, including the person inside of it. So while Pokey is indeed "absolutely safe", he is trapped in the machine forever, doomed to spend eternity in isolation. Andonuts even feels sympathy for the tyrant, as in his own words, ". . . All he can do now is spend eternity inside the capsule, in absolute safety. Shigesato Itoi has confirmed this by stating that because of this, Porky will still be alive 5.5 billion years from now.

At the end of the game, when the player is traveling in the darkness, they come into contact with an object that rolls with glee. While they may not be able to tell what it is, it is most likely Porky having survived the destruction of the land, as the Pigmask theme plays when you touch it. It is possible that he actually felt better after the events that took place.


In both games, Porky Minch is shown to be very immature and childish, even when his body ages beyond his own measure. He can be extremely obnoxious, and is also shown to be very selfish and egotistical, which Shigesato Itoi says is likely due to how terrible and abusive his parents were[1]. Porky does not appear to be self-conscious about his weight, or his resemblance to a pig (as King P, the naming of virtually every facet of his empire refers to pigs, such as the Pigmask Army, and New Pork City). Though he is naturally mischievous, after Porky is corrupted by Giygas, his childish sense of humor becomes increasingly malicious[1]. He actively seeks the destruction of the universe in EarthBound, and in Mother 3 his antics nearly wipe out the Nowhere Islands, costing the lives of an untold number of the island's inhabitants, at the very least the lives of Hinawa and Claus. Porky's actions were more than likely due to wanting friendship, according to Shigesato Itoi, and that Porky himself is like a poem.